One of the worst parts about being overweight is how doctors treat you. Not all doctors, but the majority of the doctors I have dealt with see fat first. They see a middle aged, overweight, fat guy with bad numbers. When did doctors stop treating human beings? This was my experience yesterday. Worried about my sugars, I made an appointment for my endocrinologist. They were great and got me in quickly, but the experience when I got there was less than impressive. The first issue was that I waited 45minutes to see the doctor. When I finally saw the Dr she dismissively apologized for keeping me waiting. I recognized her as the person who had walked up to the door of the room three times in the half hour I was in the examining room. Things started out fine. She asked why I was there and may have even been listening as she pulled up my records on the screen. (Ever notice how the screen with your records on it is always hidden like poker cards?) Part of what I told her was how I was dieting and exercising, she asked what I was doing and when I told her, she offered a typical "that's not right, but I have nothing better to offer" kind of closed mined response I have come to expect from a certain kind of Dr. Then she saw some high numbers on the screen. The listening stopped. She started telling me I needed this drug and that drug, which to a large degree is fine -- I was after all paying for her expertise. The real issue for me is that it seemed like her expectation was that I would just do what she said blindly. As I asked questions she got a little indignant and a lot dismissive. When I made it clear that that wasn't going to cut it, she started rattling off jargon; her accent was suddenly so think I had to strain to make out the words and the speed at which she spoke tripled at least. This was also expected. This would be the "I'm smarter than you so I'm going to make you feel bad about yourself for questioning me by pulling out my edu-cock and making you feel small," part of the appointment. When I followed her ramblings, summarized what she said in clear polite language and followed with a meaningful question she was flustered and started to looser her patience. I let it go. I realized that she was not there to treat a person who wanted to take an active role in their health. She was there to peddle prescriptions for big pharma and give me the same cookie cutter treatment she more than likely handed out 30 times a day. I was just another set of symptoms to apply her script to. I felt sad for her. Did she really go to medical school for this? Finally she left the room and came back with her attending physician. He walked in and restated the same old drug routine that she had suggested. Neither of them bothered to ask how well this routine had worked for me in the past. They were following a script. I imagine the script went something like this. 1 Weight the patient. 2 recommend weight loss 3 take blood if needed 4 write prescriptions 5 repeat step 4 whenever possible. When it was the attending's turn to mention weight loss, he told me to keep working at and to do more. The irony that I was getting another weight lecture in an examination room I was lead to by an overweight nurse, being given an obese Dr and his significantly heavy attendee was not lost on me. I hope when they go home and look in the mirror they see more than a fat person with bad numbers starring back at them. I'm thankful that I can afford a Dr to takes the time to listen and wants to help me be healthy, not just throw drugs at the problems he has scripts for. I'll be going back on the medicine because in the blur of jargon and dehumanizing treatment, the attendee (probably quite by accident) explained the "why" well enough that I'm willing to give it a go while it's needed. My new goal is not a weight loss goal. It's a health goal. I have a deep internal need not to be reliant on medications. I'm fine taking supplements, but medications that are effecting my endocrine system and that I can't "live" without need to go. I see supplements as making good health better and drugs as something needed to be healthy. I don't want to be reliant on a drug for good health, so that goal is going above the weight loss on my list. More pictures of food coming soon :) until then...