Diet days ...

After a few days of research I've come to believe that my high blood sugars can be explained as physiological insulin resistance. Which basically happens when the body has switched over the muscles to other fuel sources to save the glucose for the brain. It's considered to be both healthy and transitory. That being said, I was still not seeing keytones, I was still crazy hungry and food/diet obsessed by day 11. I've been sticking with low carb throughout this tradition and I am within 6 tenths of a pound of where I was on Friday. I'm going to keep at the low carb with the better controlled portions than the last time I did it. I'll be doing what Atkins calls induction. When I was 30 I lost 130 pounds doing induction and kept 80lbs of it off through most of my 30s. I lost 130 pounds and at first while I was running around at a fit and active 200lbs, life was great. I had limitless energy, I felt great, empowered, sexy and unstoppable. I was extremely social and perhaps excessively active. In may ways I substituted food with activity. Then I experienced a number of social hardships. Soon I was eating more and not controlling my carb intake. I guzzled beer and vodka and began binge eating again. This was all fine, I gained a few pounds but I was still active and healthy. Then life sent me down a sedentary road. I stopped going out. I stopped being social. I hid away in my apartment and in a really short time, I shot up to about 250. Things got worse, I went up a few more points and I stayed at about 260 for a while.

Then my grandmother died and I started eating my feelings. I bubbled up to 300 again. During this time I was working on a PhD and second masters. I was almost done, but I let them go. Things reached a head and eventually I got my shit together, lowered my carbs and lost 50 pounds. At 36 and 250 lbs I met my wife. At this time, I traded my high paced bachelor lifestyle, with a 9 hour work week, and an empty bank account for a more sedate life style with a 40 hour a week desk job. By my wedding day I was 325lbs. People thought my wife was going to be a widow before the wedding. Three months after the wedding I was diagnosed as having type II diabetes and the last 5 years have been a struggle with my health and adapting to my new work schedule, which included the 40 hour job and the 9 hours a week of teaching, along with periodic contract work in the evenings. I traded over-eating, for over-exercising for over-eating and over-working. For the last several months, I have been bouncing between 280 and 300. Since August 14th through increased activity and the HCG diet, I have dropped down to 268. HCG got me started but, I'll be continuing with low carb (induction) and continuing to loose weight. I know my traps and pitfalls now, so I am going to be successful. I need to be careful not to eat when I am emotional. I need healthier coping skills than binge eating. I need to be mindful of my mood and take steps to keep my dopamine levels up so I don't fall into a pit of despair and then try to eat my way out of it. I need to move more -- something every day. I need to watch my portions and control my food intake. I can't just cut out my carbs, I need to eat sensible meals. I have to remember that it's possible to binge eat on low carb food and gain weight. Today, I have a plan, I have a focus, I see the traps and I'm ready to do this right. In the weeks ahead, my food photos will be of well portioned Atkins friendly meals, a bit more fat, a bit more protein, low carb and calories that reflect my hunger not my appetite. until then ...